Aloha dear Elena and girls who decided to change their lives. I'm sorry
to write in English, but don't have Russian letters on this computer
(temporary use the PC of my dad-in-law).
First of all, many thanks to Elena for your site and great work you are
doing for us! I was translating for 4 years other people's
letters, living their lives; but after I found out about your site
something changed. I turned around and saw in a mirror a young (25 y.o.),
intelligent, pretty (tall blond with green eyes, though :), successful
in career, and extremely lonely girl. Never been married or having had
serious relationships. I always was a good girl. Excellent marks at
school, entered a prestigious university of foreign languages, after
that started working at a travel firm, at 24 y.o. became a "zam.
direktora". Of course I had dates, but never felt "this is my
and only". By 25 y.o. I've never been in love. At some point I even
started thinking that something was wrong with me... Tried to show up
more in different places where potential partners could mingle with no
results. Looking at my friends, their relationships and marriages I was
getting more convinced that Russian men present no interest for me. Most
of them were either married or looking for a house wife, when I was
seeking for a partner who treats me as equal not expecting me to wash
his dirty socks, cooking dinner and raising his children. Believe me,
I'm hardworking, love to cook and can't wait to have children. I didn't
expect a prince in shining arm-our on a white house, aka Mercedes.
So, I looked around, read the wonderful book of Elena's 101 pieces of
advice from A to Z and started writing letters to adds on zamuzh.com. I
had my portion of disappointment and tears, "nabila svoi shishki i
izvlekla uroki". To cut a long story
short, I got married this June to a wonderful men who is only 2 years
older, and we live on the wonderful islands of Hawaii! He's not rich,
but we have enough for living, everything is fine and if we work hard
it'll be even better. I married the man I truly love and very thankful
to fate and Elena for making my dreams come true.
This was my little story, hopefully it'll help someone to per-sue their
dreams and not to give up. But the topic I propose is "The
difficulties of adaptation". After the wedding bells and honey moon
the real life starts with it's ups and downs. I'm lucky to have such an
understanding and caring man by my side. The problem is I feel so lonely
and out of place... My husband's family love me, his dad adores me. I'm
in the US since March, we moved from Oregon to Hawaii in September and I
hadn't a chance to make friends. I miss speaking Russian so much, miss
my family and friends. I have no problem calling them every day, it
simply can't substitute the warmth of talking in person, little evenings
in the kitchen at a cup of tea (beer:). Unfortunately my chance to find
Russians in Hawaii is minimal. And all of a sudden I started feeling
some strange fear of things I could enjoy. I don't drive and back in
Russia dreamt about driving lessons. My hubby encourages me to take
driving test and use his car; they have great roads here, I could go
anywhere in a car, explore the island, drive to the beach
everyday........and i realize, I can't make myself study the rules, I'm
scared to drive. This sounds crazy. I don't understand what's going on
with me. It is even a problem to ask something shop assistants, knowing
very well that they don't bite in America and do everything to
understand you. I became too sensitive and vulnerable to any remark.
This is not normal. I definitely lose it, something's wrong.
If anyone experienced the same problems or could give an advice, please,
all your ideas are mostly welcomed! I want to be myself again and accept
this country as my second mother land.
With best wishes from Hawaii!
Alice